Shye-Sha!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

As does your offensively repugnant odor.

Thursday

I wouldn't do that if I was you.
Of course, if I was you, I'd go stick my head in the oven.

Wednesday's Insult, Specially Formulated for a Thursday Audience

You look like you got hit in the face with a shovel. One that was just used to scoop out the horse barn.

Playing some catch-up

You're so full of charisma, and life, and vitality, and shit.

Woo-hah!

If I were a betting man, I'd bet that there was some lead paint involved in your childhood.

Booyah!

Olivia ruined The Cosby Show. You're the Olivia in my life.

Snap!

This dog food tastes great!

Oh, it's seafood risotto?

Oooff!

I think you've got a dangling participle there. Yeah--no, just to the left a bit. There you go.

Kapow!

You bat like Nick Punto.

Ouch!

Dude! Have you ever even seen Mama's Family?

Zing!

Your iPod contains 4,000 songs.
All of them are "Viva Viagra."

Check out this sweet burn.

Put your money where your mouth is.
On your ugly face.

This one's pretty harsh.

Excuse me, shopkeep. If I wanted to pay someone 34 cents per bushel for barley, I'd grow it, harvest it, and sell it to myself at a preposterous rate such as the rate your have posted on that sign there. Also, your mother is a trollop. Good day to you.

Sunday

Happy 38th Birthday! You smell like a hog farm.

Don't forget to stop by tomorrow for another insult.

The First Insult

Your flat-front khakis seem a bit too flat.

Thanks for stopping by. Be sure to check back tomorrow for another insult.